It snows in London. Huge snow flakes. It snowed in the morning. It stopped. A normal day in London. No more rain, that’s only an urban legend. I don’t know what to expect. Yesterday morning I was reading that in the following days there will be the worst blizzard in the last 80 years. Please do tell me where is that blizzard as I don’t see it outside my window or feel it on my balcony.

Did you say snow? Like in SNOW? No, UK is not a proper country where you can see the snow I was getting at home. Bloody snow, covering the city, creating chaos Actually, in such a rainy country like the UK, how can you be prepared for heavy snow? It’s like… buying snow boots in the Caribbeans, right?

So, I’m waiting for the snow, thinking about my dear board, left at home (snif snif, forgive me, I swear, I didn’t want to leave you there). Tomorrow I’ll wear my fav snow jacket and remember the rides I took with my friends back at home.

Quite a good track by Kid Cudi. But quite sad. How long have you been looking for happiness? I’ve been looking for it my entire life. I ran from everything, searching for happiness, thinking it’s somewhere, somehow and I will just reach it with my land. Quite like a Holy Grail but with less religious implications. But after 29 years of search, the geek within says: are u fuckin shitting me? you’ve been torturing me all these years looking for something that does not exist? The optimist within says: you’ll find it, you just have to look into the right place. How the hell do you know what’s the right place??!?!? says the pessimistic. And I come forward and say: leave me alone, guys! I stopped looking for happiness. It’s so hard to find it. I want peace of mind. You just can’t imagine how important it is to feel at ease, to be relax and to see clearly and detached your emotions within. I am not depressed, I am not sad but there are some words, said in a quite weird context, about what you really wish in life. I stopped wishing for happiness. I wish for a more detached attitude and a heart more willing to forgive. I stopped forgiving people the moment I’ve seen them failing around me. Failing to understand the way I cared for them, the trust I invested in them. Is this the right time to let go and embrace my inner self the way it is? I don’t need to play a role, I’ve been an amazing actress only to make some people comfortable although I knew they were some dumb assess. Maybe I embrace so strongly the Christian morale in such a wrong moment of my life: loves the ones around you, forgive and forget. I’ve given my heart to my friends: take it and destroy it! And some of them, damn, they just took that literally, after years and years of staying and sharing our lives. But some of them took that and cherished my gift. And those are the ones I can tell them the way that I truly feel inside.

Do you have what it takes to deserve my heart and my trust,…friend?

ps: don’t need answers, guys, think about your life, it’s rhetorics and it’s a general post, not related to anyone (hold ur horses, you know who)

ps 2: comments are private so you can leave any comment and I won’t publish it

It’s been 2 months since I left home. It’s so weird to say “leaving home” as I realized that this term is such a complete different one from what I was used to be before. Home is where your heart is, they say. Is that for real or it’s just stupid line to feel more comfortable when they leave everything behind? The entire process of leaving is quite painful. I didn’t feel very comfortable the day I came here. I wasn’t a tourist as I knew I would stay for a long time, I didn’t feel like I belonged here as I didn’t know what to do and how to behave. I didn’t understand English!!!!!! Yesterday I was looking at Westway to the World and I found it really hard to understand some words and it was ENGLISH! English spoken by British citizens.

So the cultural shock: all the races and nationalities are in this city. I can stare for hours in the tube or in the train to the people that come or live in London. This is such an amazing show…but a sad show. In the morning you see them clinched to their Blackberries and iPhones, reading reports they printed the night before, women doing their make up, men playing stupid games on their way to work. This city is a machine. A black hole sucking feelings and energy. Quite normal, being one the world’s greatest financial and cultural landmarks.

The good part about this city is that I started writing again. Like in building up thoughts and characters I may use for future research. Relieved is the right word for the feeling I’m getting. It may look shitty but writing about writing is actually quite liberating. Somehow it makes you understand why you want to write, about what you want to write and how you want to write.

The first piece I wrote is on how to build your character and how you may become obsessed with it. As my main readers are on the British side, I will translate it and publish it in the following days. God, how liberating!

Sometimes things happen for no reason. And you are never prepared for the future. As one of my MA friends said, let go of planning and enjoy every second of your present life (gotta give me that book, mate!). Last weekend I’ve been spending 2 days with my MA colleagues and friends in town. Enjoying student life as I don’t know it.  Those years of work kept me away from enjoying talks and having fun. As 30s mean change for anybody, maybe this is the change I am forced to do. Let go and enjoy life as it is. I should learn to like surprises

Shit, kinda hard for a mean obsessive machine like me

Last weekend was quite a big adventure. On Saturday we went to Marlborough, Stonehenge, Avebury and got to Glastonbury around 6PM. Sunday was dedicated to lovely but small Glastonbury, city of faeries and elves. Plus Wells, with its amazing cathedral and Bath with…everything. I would recommed a day in Bath, it’s absolutely lovely!!!

Fortunately, we went by car. I would recommend avoiding the train in the UK and going by coach or by plane, if you are a student. Some good offers can help you fly around UK and Ireland.

Anyway, some pictures are already on my Facebook account. Must admit, no fancy ladies in any of these cities, quite boring street style, unexpected for the UK. Or maybe I’m getting used to London’s sense of urban fashion.

Keep you posted and fingers crossed, good news are coming

I miss you too Damn, as a fast and quick conclusion, UK is a country built on paperwork. But you know what’s the nice part of this bureaucracy? Once you’ve sent a paper, you will know for sure that you will get an answer from the system, no matter what.

Otherwise, I was sick for almost 2 weeks, feeling quite bad in the last 5 days. But thank God, my boyfriend managed to buy me some Augmentin from back at home and send it through Catalin Gradinariu from Radio Guerrilla Thumbs up and thank you so much

On the 1st of October we bought 2 tickets, probably among the last ones. And last night, after a girlie event by Glamour Magazine and Timberland (amazing gloves, guys, thank you for the goodie bag), I went for the first time in Camden. Heard the stories, seen the pictures, never been there. Well, after some shitty rain, at 8 in the night, it’s not such a big deal about it. Maybe when the markets are open, during the day, it may seem more interesting.

Coming back to the concert. Although mentioned at 7PM on the ticket, it started after 9.30PM, and, damn, what a concert, it was worth the wait! Before it started, Aloe was wandering around in the club, glasses on, sweet shirt, sport shoes, a normal looking guy. After that he traded his normal clothes into a stage performance suit. Damn, he’s good. He’s got vibe and passion to keep the audience alive and entertained. I remember some party this July where I danced like crazy. And so it was this time: next to the stage, surrounded by nice people and a dear friend. Any sigle didn’t sound like on the album. No 4 minutes tracks. Just preaching love and soul and good vibe. The church of love and happiness

What I loved more? Indeed, “I Need a Dollar”, but with a more Jamaican approach on the vibe, making the connection to “No Woman, No Cry”

[youtube iR6oYX1D-0w]

Loved it, thanks Carhartt for such an amazing show, you did great having him in this European Tour. Good job!

You can still see him in concert today, tomorrow and Friday. Must see!!!!

10/20/2010 – Sound Control – Manchester – GB – Tickets
10/21/2010 – Hi-Fi Club – Leeds – GB – Tickets
10/22/2010 – Metropolis – Bristol – GB – Tickets

I am so sick, cold related. It’s not the flu but it’s a bad cold. Talk to you later.

“Brilliant” that’s what she said. Our professor. On the presentation.

Good job, team, on our first project